The Nausea

I feel so sick. I feel as sick as I did when I went to that school. I can’t tell if it’s because of the Widow’s Silk, natural causes, or my own fvck|ng head. I still don’t feel as sick as I did on Graduation Day, though.

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This Is Mine

The Brethren are not going to silence me. This is my story, and it will be told. They won’t be allowed to cover up what happened on Graduation Day. I know what I saw.

The lights just went out. I'm keeping notes for myself to try and hold onto what's left of my sanity. I hear banging, crashing, pandemonium. I'm currently hiding in a dressing room on the stage where we were just minutes ago being handed our diplomas. I knew something was going to happen. I can barely breathe.

Hell. I was framed.

Lonnie D Maddens, 1980

Like father, like son.

prøtotypê

A lanky young man with claws for hands. At one point he was me.

But I still see him.

I thought he was gone. I stopped. “No more cutting,” I said. Why is he still here?

M

The butcher in Whitby? Is he bringing it back? I don’t understand. He’s dead, that’s not possible.

“One more morsel.”

For a single Gil?

Morsengyl? I don’t understand. The yearly census. The ships taken overseas. The harm they did…

💀👻😈👹🖤

And the gang’s all here…

Nomad

I am at my best when I can stay in one place. But that’s not entirely true. I don’t know what my best is. I know what I do, though. This is the second time in the last week that I’ve sat in my closed car with music blaring. The rain and lightning have been scaring the ßhî5 out of me.

Fear. Blood. Flesh
Everything. Constant.

It’s raining. Again.

Donnie Maddens, Sept. 2021

5

T

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An imposing tall figure with some kind of metallic headwear. A long blade clutched in his hand, dragging along the ground. Is it looking at me? Is it human? Is it alive?

Father

“Fear for the blood is fear for the flesh… and denial of the self

Fear of the past is rejection of the future… and denial of the present

Donnie Maddens, 2021

His name was Lonnie Dean Maddens. He was beaten as a child, and imprisoned at 21 for a drunken crash, which took the life of his 16 year old best friend. He was pinned in the vehicle, watching the life drain right before his very eyes. His time in prison was a large factor in his eventual paranoid schizophrenia. Locked in that cell, he began to see his friend’s face and hear his screams of agony. When he was released, he spiraled out of control.

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